looking at the shrinking circumference of my circle of friends, and then looking at the inability to reach out and again expand, then considering the past and present of certain relations... It is not the world that is completely skewed... its me. i have tried so hard to be what others wanted me to be. with that path beaten down in to my very core, i have never found who i was to be. no reward for growth, no good deed unpunished. now, i look to a future that is bleak at best with no knowledge of how to alter a course that is not of my choosing. all i want to do is put an end to the endless barrage of pain, misery, and agony that is my life. i want to improve, i want to change things. not knowing what is right from wrong does not help you have a starting point to achieve middle ground with the determination of reaching your goals... funny how things work!